The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
