What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
