I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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