3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
