you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
