You really coming over, don't trick.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
