I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Life without a bra equals bliss.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
please don't ironically join a cult
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
