we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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