hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
