i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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