then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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