why didn't you poke me back
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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