Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize