It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
