i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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