babies were throwing up all over the place
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
