Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
