My brain says no but my pants say off.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
