I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
