"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
