Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
