TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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