do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
