That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
