Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
