Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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