I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
