Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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