Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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