I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
