Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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