Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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