Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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