But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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