he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
