What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
