im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
