i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
