Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
