is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My ATM looks so different sober.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
