you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
