I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
