She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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