It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
