We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the condom got lost in my hair
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
