sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
