The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
