This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
