he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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