I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
