somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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